Charity, the Pure Love of Christ

I want to have this spiritual gift so badly!  I pray for it and I try to love everyone…but time after time I fall short and revert back to my selfish ways.  It’s weird, because today was actually a really great day at work.  It was super productive, and I left feeling really accomplished and happy.  But I’ve just been kinda feeling blah for the past little while, and I started feeling that way again tonight.  I think not having internet and feeling so disconnected and far from home is part of it…but as I was doing some introspection, I realized that I’ve become too focused on myself.  When I first got here, I had this liberating feeling of joy as I got caught up in the lives and needs of others.  I didn’t worry about my appearance, my eating habits, my exercise regimen, my thirst, my bladder…haha…and I was so happy.  I’ve noticed myself worrying too much about myself again, and I just feel not good enough.  It’s funny how, sometimes, the hardest person to feel unconditional love for is yourself, because you know all of your flaws and weaknesses.  It’s the finest line, it seems like, not getting consumed with your own needs, and still taking the time to take care of and love yourself.  But it’s kinda like the more you focus on the needs of others, the more the Lord blesses you and makes sure you’re taken care of.  I guess that’s what life will be like when he comes again, huh?  The united order is giving all we have, and yet never wanting for anything we need, right?  His plan is so perfect!  Yes, he wants us to be charitable so that we take care of our brothers and sisters.  But I believe that his commandments are all there to make us feel the most joy that we possibly can, and he knows that that will come through loving others perfectly.  Of course, we won’t be perfect in this life.  But through the atonement and repentance, and we can strive each day to be a little better.  To love a little more perfectly.  To serve a little more selflessly.  To be obedient a little more faithfully.  To pray a little more fervently.  To read the scriptures a little more thoughtfully.  I’m so grateful that at the moments when I feel the most discouraged and unworthy, if I can just get myself to begin praying to my Heavenly Father who loves me perfectly, I can immediately feel uplifted and hopeful.  So that’s what I leave with you tonight; a little message of hope = )

Thought it was fitting to include a couple of these videos I took from morning assembly = )